In today's news continued...

Tobey Maguire to leave Spider-Man films

       I think I speak for everyone when I say "Whoopee Shit!". US actor Tobey Maguire and director Sam Raimi will not be returning for a fourth film in the hit Spider-Man franchise, it has been announced. Sony Pictures and Marvel Studios said a new film would be released in 2012, but with a new story, director and cast.

       It isn't that I dislike Spider-man. I don't and I hope that these big changes will bring a fresh new start to this movie franchise. I do, however, dislike Tobey Maguire. He did for Peter Parker what Elijah Wood did for Frodo and Viggo Mortensen did for Aragorn. Made him WET WET WET. Put Maguire's Spider-man in 'Watchmen' and he wouldn't have lasted two seconds.

      No, Tobey Maguire was certainly not hero material and I think it is just as well that he has ended his part in the Spider-Man movies. As for Rosemary Harris who plays Parker's extrememly annoying Aunt May, I can only hope she is entered into an episode of 'Celebrity Wipeout' and doesn't survive.
      
       To counteract this positive step in his life however, Maguire's latest role is in the soon-to-be released 'Brothers' as Captain Sam Cahill. He returns home from being presumed dead in Afghanistan to find out his brother is having an affair with his wife (or so he thinks). 

       This is UTTER shit - the plot is complete wank and the actors are as well!!! It just goes to show that the Iraq war was a complete mistake. So far, not one decent action/war movie has come out of it! Why do producers still insist on making movies about this 'war' - it's not like Vietnam from which we got 'Platoon' and 'Tropic Thunder'. The chances of a good Iraq war film being made are only equivalent to those of George Bush actually discovering WMDs.


Labour Manifesto 'to be most radical in recent times'

       Well, that's a complete joke. After his recent 'Never Stop Believing' speech which sounded like he was just misquoting Journey, Gordon Brown has decided that his general election manifesto will be the "most radical programme" that Labour has offered in recent times.
      
       It's too late Brown! Give up! Labour aren't radical, that is why they hold the centre ground. The Nationalist Socialist Party were radical and if that is what Brown is promising then I think I can safely say that he will only secure the votes of the BNP. That some of the Labour Party deem the election "winnable" despite the Tory's lead in the polls just goes to show how deluded they are.

      This news on the manifesto comes after a recent attempt on Brown's party leadership in which Labour MPs were invited by former ministers Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt to to hold a secret ballot on the Prime Minister's performance. The plot failed when it did not get high-level support and because Gordon Brown used to play rugby. Meanwhile, Business Secretary Lord Mandelson payed tribute to Mr Brown's resilience and strong leadership in defeating this coup. Well he would wouldn't he because he is gay!

        I have a distinct feeling though that this article was a joke because it finished up by saying that "Chancellor Alistair Darling said the economy would be central to the campaign and he would be leading an attack on the Tories' economic policies". Unfortunately for Labour, it is exactly because of the economy that their support is dwindling seeing as under Brown's rule, we are currently in the worst depression that Britain has seen for years. Coincedence? No. Brown screwed things up as Blair's chancellor and when he became Prime Minister, Darling carried on his alarmingly effective work. Therefore, Labour are showing just how incompetent they are by attacking one of their oppostition's strongest points in their death throws.


       Finally, a word on Alistair Darling. Why anybody trusts this man to be in charge of a teabag, let alone the economy, is beyond me. His hair and eyebrows don't match, I mean what is with that? Apart from the fact that he will re-incarnate as a Zebra (or a badger), frankly he looks ridiculous. Thus, one would wonder why on earth Brown would include him in his cabinet until you remember that he is partially blind.


Ron Jeremy says violent video games 'worse' than porn

       SHOCK!!! HORROR!!! A pornstar trying to justify pornography's morality? That's unheard of?!

       Of course I'm being sarcastic. This is just the sort of typical thing that the fat, ugly bastard would come out with. His recent remarks caused a stir in the gaming community who paused their games for a brief moment to Twitter obscenities about Jeremy.

      His comments were ridiculous though. The ordinary sane child may play Call Of Duty 6 but doesn't then go outside and re-enact what they have just played. It is the same for most 'violent' action games. Sure there are some that are perhaps undesirable such as the game 'Manhunt' which was banned but that was the correct thing to do. It is only really in America that on the very rare occasion, a student (often an Asian emo) snaps and commits a high-school massacre. I don't feel that this can really be blamed on violent 'games' however, but instead on their mental incapability.

       However, I think it is preposterous that the person figure-heading the campaign against violent games at the moment is none other than Ron Jeremy who himself has made over 2000 appearances in pornographic movies. When he descibes these games as 'worse' than porn, it is quite fair to say therefore that he has no small amount of bias in the matter. If we want anyone's opinion, it shouldn't be his. To be honest I would rather my future children indulge themselves in 'violent' games then on porn, it would certainly cut down on paper wastage.