Dr. Who? Dr. King.

       Monday the 18th of January this year saw the Americans hold their annual Martin Luther-King Jnr. Day celebrations by taking a day off work because some guy got whacked 42 years ago.
      
       Well that got your attention!! And before some of you pick up bottles or Fried Chicken or Taffy to beat me with, let me re-assure you that I am not going to make fun of Martin Luther-King!!! He did amazing work in campaigning for equal rights in America and against deeply ingrained social racism. Hopefully that covers my ass. I would go on about his greatness but all the newspaper articles have done that and that isn't the purpose of this blog.

       No, I am going to reveal the truth about Luther-King and certain other black icons of America. They are all one and the same person. Are you shocked? Is your conspiratorial mind intrigued yet? Read on for the facts.

       Let's start with Luther-King. He is/was in fact a timelord. Just like Doctor Who. Although he is called Dr. King. My research has shown that probably his first incarnation was as Martin Luther-King Junior. Fighting for good against evil he strongly campaigned for civil rights under this guise and changed history. If you play his 'I Have A Dream' speech backwards and don't really listen properly, it turns out to be a revelation of his actual identity in his home language of Gallifrey. All was going well until that disastrous day on April 4th in 1968 when the good Doctor was assassinated as he stood on his balcony. His work for black-equality tragically cut short, and left without a major role-model, many Americans including the whole African-American population sank into despair, fearing him gone forever.

       Little did they know that Dr. King was already back. He had regenerated as Michael Jackson and in this incarnation he fought against black inequality through the medium of music. He is the most commercially successful and one of the most influential entertainers of all time. His unique contributions to music, dance, and fashion, along with a highly publicized personal life, made him a prominent global figure in popular culture for over four decades. He was the new role-model that Black America wanted. How are he and Luther-King the same person I hear you ask? Think about it. It is all very subtle but if you look closely, you can recognise the tell-tale clues. They have the same initials; Martin Luther-King Junior and Michael Jackson = MJ. Luther-King was known as Dr. King and Jackson is referred to as the King of Pop.

       However, this incarnation of the timelord Dr. King decided that he would undergo several controversial pigmentation changes and operations and emerged a white woman and later became a man again. Obviously he was still looking for the best way to tackle the problem of racial inequality but was left with the sad realisation that he was now a genderless paedophile. Once more it was time to regenerate. On June 2009 as I ate dinner in a Michigan branch of Applebees, he was discovered dead as the result of a heart-attack.

       This is what first led me to the discovery of the new timelord. In Martin Luther-King's autopsy, it was revealed that the 39 year-old man had a heart age of a 62 year-old. This was probably due to the stress of his work and lifestyle. Thus Dr. King must have a heart problem of some sort because it was exactly the same thing that finished off his second regeneration.

      Who did Dr. King return as? Well none other than Barrack Obama of course! Leading a highly successful and refreshing campaign in 2008, he realised a huge step forward in his work on planet Earth when he was inaugrated as the first black American President in 2009. His Presidency highlights the eventual breakthroughs in American society that have come-about due to the collective efforts of Dr. King. During his inaugration however, Obama was surrounded by bullet-proof glass which reveals there are still lots of race issues to be dealt with in the US; I mean, just because he is black does not mean that he was going to shoot anybody.

       One does worry about the good timelord though. With his apparent heart condition, and the fact that the stress of the Oval Office seems to be getting to Obama (and the fact he smokes), is he just a time-bomb waiting to explode and leave us expecting another regeneration? Michael Jackson lived to be 50 which leaves Obama just 2 years to continue Dr. King's amazing work in the field of civil rights. My personal theory is that his heart will again fail due to the stress of the burden on his shoulders, or the cholestrol that surrounds it as a result of the smoking will cause a heart-attack or a disgruntled KKK member will be having a picnic on a grassy knoll when he will suddenly think "Hey....". But who will he come back as? My studies have shown that his next regeneration will arise from the ashes of Mr. T upon his eventual death from consuming a life-threatening mixture of cheap gold and Snickers bars.